just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
