You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
