STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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