big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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