omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
