Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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