so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize