I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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