What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
3pm strippers are depressing
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
