Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
