That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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