piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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