i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
