Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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