I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
