The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize