Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
