I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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