i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
