Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
