that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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