Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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