yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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