East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
