i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
