I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
