D3 body, D1 cock
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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