speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
