the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
