i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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