we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
