Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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