I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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