So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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