rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Are we still banned from the library?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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