At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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