ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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