porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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