oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
