I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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