You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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