so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had to cum in my sink.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
