So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
