im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
