she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
