he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
