Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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