when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
