On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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