somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My liver just broke up with me...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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