a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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