I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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