if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
