I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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