Are we in a gay sports bar?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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