You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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