So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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