Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
