He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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