Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
