They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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