Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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