I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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