You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
