Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
