Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
